My Life is Average
by SasuSaku Forever and Ever
Summary: oo2; Hormones sound a lot like something else. MLIA.
1. Dirty Minds

**dedicated to: **sado-chan, and rhyrhy. sado-chan for giving me permission to write this!  
**prompt: **MLIA. my favorite website. (FML and GMH are my second favorites.)  
**rating: **M

**note: **it's going to be like fml. first chapter is sakura, second is sasuke, and third is third person, until we reach **THE END.**

**summary: **oo1; "THEPENISINHERMOUTH" can be misinterpreted in so many different ways.

* * *

**M**_y _L**i**_f_e **i**_s _A**v**_e_r**a**_g_e

**oo1.  
D**_i_r**t**_y _M**i**_n_d**s**

**by SasuSaku Forever and Ever  
(ohh, &&xena)**

**.**

_(dedicated to blankstateofmind. ily, you know. )_

Let's face it.

I have a dirty mind. Then again, who doesn't?

(Besides Hinata, of course).

I'm known as the number two pervert in Konoha, behind Jiraiya. I passed Kakashi by three votes from the city!

Thank you, thank you very much.

(Quote; Elvis Presley. And the glasses. Cuz, well, I'M ALL SHOOK UP, buh-duh-duh).

I can make _anything, _and I mean _anything, _sound dirty. Because I'm Haruno Sakura. DURR.

I'll pop up behind you and whisper, "_That's what she said_!" in your ear, seductively, of course. And you'll shiver, when I bite your earlobe and lick your neck.

Sexy.

And when someone says something, like, "Blow on it!" I'll burst out laughing, causing people to think-and then sweatdrop.

But let's face it.

Who _doesn't _love me, Haruno Sakura?

Besides Uchiha Sasuke, but that's totally beyond the point.

Friggin' jackass.

Correction.

Friggin' _hawt _jackass.

.

.

.

Uchiha Sasuke, first of all, does _not _appreciate my gift from the heavens.

He says it's inappropriate and childish.

Psh.

That is _such_ a lie. If you want to see inappropriate and childish, go look at Naruto.

So I decided to cast my female charms, making sure my estrogen levels were high.

"Hi, Sasuke-kun," I giggled, trying to pull my skirt up as much as possible without looking slutty.

"Hn."

I saw him look away to the side nervously. Probably the result of my girlish charms surrounding his emo aura. I think he was sweating, and I stared at his groin to see if my prediction was right.

But I think I was staring too long.

"Sakura? What the hell are you _doing_?"

I bilnked myself back to reality and facepalmed myself. Too long. Too hot.

_Too big_.

Oops. That's what she said. To all three. LOL.

"Your, uhm, dick is big," I said. "It's hot."

He stared at me, and then buried his face in his hands. Then, he got his stuff, and left.

Was that the wrong thing to say? I'm not good when it comes to boys.

.

.

.

"Oh, Sauce-kay-kunnn," I sang, looking for him. I saw him out by the Sakura tree (ha, what a coinky-dink!), smoking a cigarette. Damn him, he was legally allowed to, but I wasn't. FML. I still had five more months to go. Ugh.

Anyway, I saw him unbutton his shirt (his abs are _amazing_), and loosen his tie, (_I'm gonna have a freakin' orgy right now_), and best of all...

He _unzipped his pants._

I didn't know if he was going to fondle himself out in the open, but I really, really hoped so. It was _really _hot, and this was _Sasuke _we were talking about. _Sauce-gay._

He put his hand over his bulge (dude, it's so big, I can see it, like, bursting through his briefs (I thought he was a boxer man. Hm) even without the binoculars. Agh, he's so hot, he makes me want to touch myself and pretend that it's him.

So, er, I did. I put my hand under my shirt and over my bra, before sneaking in through a cup to pinch my nipple. It felt really good when I let go, so I kept doing it, until I felt it perk up through my blouse. My hand moved to the other nipple and did the same thing, until two firm dots were showing through my white shirt.

I could finally see his..._thing_ in his hands. And I felt wet down there, so I squeezed my legs together so that I wouldn't piss myself. He had his hand on his...er, manhood, and kept going up and down, slower and slower, then faster, and faster, until he was giving himself this major handjob that I saw in one of those pornos when I disabled the V-chip on our TV and switched to the Jewish Hugh Hefner channel.

I put my hand down my panties and felt the whole thing be wet with stickyness. Not piss (thank _God_). I dipped my finger in a bit and smelled it. It had a sort of spicy smell, with a little lemon juice mixed in. I put my hand back down my underwear and fondled myself down there. Becoming braver, I put a finger inside of me (dude, the only thing that's gone into my vajay-jay was a freakin' _tampon_) and moaned in surprise.

This felt _really really really _good. Why hadn't I masturbated before?

So I stuck another finger in.

And another.

Until I had my limits, I just stuck with two. I was pretty tight, so the third one wouldn't fit. When I took my hand out, it was covered in warm whiteness. I pressed it up to my nose again. Lemon and spice. Spice and lemon. I was about to taste it when I saw Sasuke put his shaft back in his briefs and zip up his pants, fixing his sex-clothes. Ugh, he's _so _hot. I, like, freakin' _love _him in the non-sexual way.

Wait, I take it back. I love him in the sexual way, just not the "OMFG I love you let's get married" sort of way. I don't know him that well for that kind of commitment.

He stomped on his cigarette to put it out and put his hands in his pockets. He was going back to class. Through the bushes I was in (because, of course, this _is _a Super-Secret-Spy mission), I made sure to take notes on him.

_Wears briefs, not boxers.  
Smokes, lucky bastard.  
Really hot, in case I somehow forget his hotness.  
A foot long dick. A FOOT LONG. Like those FIVE DOLLAR FOOT LONGS at Subway. I wonder how much he'd charge me to suck it.  
Correction. A eight-nine inch dick. I was just joking about the foot long, but damn, wouldn't that be so hot? Do you think he could fit himself in me? I'd, like, fucking explode.  
...He's standing right behind me reading my notes, isn't he?_

I turned around and saw Sasuke smirking, breathing on my neck.

"Naughty girl," he murmured. "You really watch guys touch themselves? Have you ever gave yourself to a guy? Have you even _touched _one?"

Wait. Was he implying that he was gay? Urgh. Usually, I don't blush. But damn, he was so seductive, and I wanted to jump him right now, so...

"Uhm, _yeah,_" I lied through my teeth. "I gave your brother an Alaskan Firedragon once."

Which was _actually _really true. I gave him a model of a firedragon. Living in Alaska. Do you know how hard it was to find one of them in a snowglobe?

Sasuke's face lost color, and he gulped nervously. "Y-You...You gave my brother...You guys had _sex_? You gave him a blowjob?"

Okay, now I don't know _what the hell _Sasuke is talking about. So I just went along with it.

"Uhm, yeah."

This was probably the first and only time Uchiha Sasuke fainted, but that didn't stop me from giving mouth to mouth. It actually wasn't really CPR, it was more like, "I'm gonna tongue rape you, bitch, and I'm gonna kiss you until your lips are bruised from mine, and you'll be tasting Sakura and cherry chapstick when you wake up, and your iPod's gonna be in your ears, blasting _I Kissed a Girl _by Katy Perry, because really, you _did_ kiss a girl. And it was me. Bitch."

When I put my hand to his chest and another on his forehead, I leaned into press his lips to mine.

Mm...

.

.

.

The next day, Sasuke refused to make eye contact with me. Which was weird, because I thought it was perfectly natural. (See, I told you I'm not an expert on guys).

I tried talking to him at his locker, but he ignored me. I touched his shoulder, trying to get his attention, but he pretended that he didn't feel it. I even threw spitballs at him in class, but he acted as if nothing was happening.

What.

The.

_Fuck_.

So I decided to give him some time off. For about ten minutes.

_Yeah_.

.

.

.

"HELP, HOLY SHIT, HELP!" Naruto shrieked, holding Hinata close to him, her hands around her neck. Her face was turning purple, instead of red, and she gagged. Everyone went around her to see what was going on, including Sakura.

Hinata couldn't speak, and Naruto didn't understand what she was saying. She began performing sign language, using her fingers to stop choking her throat. One of the deaf mute sound students, Kin's partner with the hearing aids, understood, and brought the portable chalkboard from the nearby classroom. Quickly, his fingers wrote:

**THEPENISINHERMOUTH**

Sasuke cocked his head. "The penis in her mouth?"

There was silence. The only thing interrupting it was Hinata's gagging, partially with the "thing" in her mouth, and partially about laughing. Her face became red and purple now, with embarrassment and lack of oxygen.

"HINATA, HINATA! WHO DID THIS TO YOU?" Naruto said. "WHO DID YOU GIVE A BLOWJOB? WAS IT KIBA? WERE YOU THINKING OF HIM WHEN WE MADE LOVEEE?" Naruto said, now crying anime tears while the tragedy-music began playing.

The boy shook his head, and spaced his letters more evenly.

**THE PEN IS IN HER MOUTH**

I began _guffawing_. In the middle of such a serious situation, she began _laughing_.

"Sasuke, you are _sooo _dirty! Even _I _didn't see that coming! And you know me!"

Everyone became focused on her now, instead of Hinata. Naruto patted her back, and Hinata gagged, coughing up an orange ink pen with a fluff-ball on the tip.

"Hey, I've been trying to find this for ages!" Naruto said, while Hinata rubbed her throat. The crowd dissipated slowly, and I began massaging Hinata, who thanked me quietly, her voice hoarse.

Sasuke erased the chalkboard and moved the chalkboard back. Yes, he was worried about what happened to Hinata, but he smirked at Naruto's interpretation of the boy's sentence.

He looked over at me, who was still laughing, trying to hold it back, my face turning as red as Hinata's. Sasuke touched his lips, thinking of when Sakura's touched his own. She smelled good, and the way her hair flung over his face, her pink bangs, it was so soft, and he wanted to hold and caress and stroke it forever.

"Hellooo? Sasuke? Good, I finally got your attention," I smiled, cupping Sasuke's cheeks and squeezing them. "I've been trying to get you back in reality since _yesterday_. Dude. You're incredibly bipolar."

Sasuke leaned down, whispering in her ear.

"What do you think of me?"

I blushed, and I then shouted out, "I think you're an egotistical, arrogant, self-centered jerk, but you're really hot, too."

"What would you like to do to me?"

"Everything," I said, playing his game, nibbling his earlobe. "You're cute."

"So are you."

I raised an eyebrow. "...Are you asking me to do it with you? Because I will."

"There's a private cot in the nurse's."

"Let's go."

.

.

.

"Just saying, there's _no love relation _between us. We're only friends with benefits. Or fuck buddies, if you don't want me to have the friend title. You know?" I said as Sasuke grabbed my hand, leading me to the cot.

Sasuke frowned. "Let's talk later."

He put me down on the bed, and he put his hand under my shirt, and the other on my thigh.

"Uhm," I blushed, nervously. He chuckled, and tickled my skin.

"I saw the way you touched yourself," he muttered. "It turned me on. Were you thinking of me when you fucked yourself?"

"Aa..."

Sasuke was making me feel more uncomfortable than I should have.

"S-Sasuke?" I stuttered, until he shhed me, and kissed me. Full on the lips. And he wasn't drunk, anyway.

"Call me Sasuke-kun."

I immediately began heating up, especially near my core. He could obviously feel it too, because he pressed his fingers there, to which I jumped at. Removing my blouse, unhooking my bra, and slipping down my skirt and panties down to my ankles, I was naked, alone with him in school, where anyone could just pop in.

"Aa, mm, I—I'm feeling uncomfortable," I confessed, trying to struggle free from Sasuke, who began unbuttoning his shirt with one hand, another hand holding my wrists together above my head.

"Don't, then. Just relax."

He began to take off his pants, and his boxers (note to self, he wears both), and his penis was erect, long and ready, so that I could see the full nine inches sticking up, ready to be soaked in cum.

"You see that? Feel it," Sasuke said, grabbing my hand and putting it on his shaft. I squeaked, and jolted, refusing to look at him. I didn't like this anymore. I thought it would just be over, like that. See, I write Ugly Betty fanfiction when she crossovers to the Full Metal Alchemist world and has sex with Edward Elric, who then invites Winry Rockbell for a threesome, adding on to Roy Mustang back snapping his fingers and creating flames, burning Ugly Betty, covering her inner self which looks exactly like Megan Fox. Sort of.

"Can we just get it over with?" I said, ready to cry. This wasn't the way I planned. In, out, we're done. Maybe another time.

"Soon."

He thrust in, without warning, and I screamed.

.

.

.

I remember crying under the sheets, stuck in fetal position. I never realized sex would be so painful. I thought it would be all fairies and unicorns and rainbows and everything sweet and pleasant, and then we would confess our ever-lasting love for each other, find out that I'm pregnant, elope in Las Vegas, and get married all in one night, like What Happens in Vegas.

I felt Sasuke's arms around me. I felt him breathe in and out, kissing my neck and playing with my hair.

"What do you want?" I asked. "It's over, now. Just go. Please?" I begged.

"Don't cry," he murmured, turning me around. "I'm sorry for hurting you."

I could feel the sting of tears under my eyes again, and I frowned. "Please don't talk about it. Don't. Just go away."

"I like you, Sakura. I like you a lot. I don't want to have sex with you if you don't want to. And I don't want to be fuck buddies, nor friends with benefits."

I looked into his sincere eyes, and hugged him tightly. "You're an egotistical, arrogant, self-centered—"

"Jerk. I know. And you're the most perverted, annoying girl in the world. Ugh, I hate how you make me feel."

"I like you too. I guess. Sort of, in a way."

"So yes or no?" he asked.

I hugged him tight, my legs around his waist, squeezing. "You are _sooo _cute. I want to kidnap you." I think I'm bipolar. One minute I"m crying, and the next I'm asking him to do me senseless. Ish.

He pulled a rope from the nurse's bin next to the private cot. "Would you like to kidnap me now?"

.

.

.

I held hands with Sasuke, walking towards the school. Sex was great with Sasuke, and he was so caring. I asked him to take Viagra and Vimax, so that he could have a _footlong subway dick_. So when I go to Subway with him, and the guy asks what I want, I'll be like, "I'll have a footlong Sasuke dick."

It's a joke. Haha, really, it's a joke.

Anyway, it's breaktime right now, so we're out by the place he masturbated. I unzipped his pants, rubbed his dick until it stood up straight, and began putting it in my mouth. Mm, he's so good...

He moaned, throwing his head back, and placed his hands in my hair. He'd always loved my hair, stroking it and kissing it and everything it.

"It feels so good, Sakura," he muttered.

"It's the penis in her mouth..." I said, nearly choking on his length. Fuck, he was big.

"I have herpes," Sasuke said seductively as I swallowed his cum.

I tried to cough it all out, staring at him unbelievably. "Y-You _what_?"

He began laughing. Full out _laughing_.

"You just got an Alaskan Firedragon, girl! See, when I asked my brother if you'd given him one, he showed me the model, and I was like, what the fuck? Is this what she meant? Now I'm telling you the true meaning of an Alaskan Firedragon, and your face was priceless!"

"You son of a bitch."

"Mm, Sakura, I love you."

"Hm."

But really, I was happy out of my mind. He said he _loved _me. Now I have this scrumpdidleedumptious man all to myself.

_Forever_.

MLIA.

* * *

**well, i thought this was okya. i lked the prompt,didnt relly know how to put it together. so, uhm, yeah. dedicated to sado-chan. i was rushed b/c i have a deadline due, and school's coming up so yaaa. here's a little crapstuff for you.**

**love always xoxo,**

**-ohh, &&xena  
**


	2. Puberty

**dedicated to: **sado-chan, and rhyrhy. sado-chan for giving me permission to write this!  
**prompt: **MLIA. my favorite website. (FML and GMH are my second favorites.)  
**rating: **M

**note: **it's going to be like fml. first chapter is sakura, second is sasuke, and third is third person, until we reach **THE END.**

**summary: **oo2; Hormones sound a lot like whore moans. MLIA.

* * *

**M**_y _L**i**_f_e **i**_s _A**v**_e_r**a**_g_e

**oo2.  
P**_u_b**e**_r_t**y**

**by SasuSaku Forever and Ever  
(ohh, &&xena)**

**.**

_(dedicated to blankstateofmind. ily, you know. )_

Sure, we use this word a lot.

During Sex Ed, talking about the ones in your body during Gym, or even in a perfectly normal conversation.

The word is a chemical going through the body to start or stop something. Got that, Naruto? Or is it still too complicated for you?

Never mind, that was a stupid question. Everything's too small for your little brain, dobe.

Anyway, it was required for our school to take Sex Education from seventh to twelfth grade. Or, the more pleasant terms for middle school, _Health_ and then in tenth grade when people wouldn't blush saying the word, _sex_. Which wasn't a big deal, I mean, sex—there are different meanings to it. Sex as in gender, sex as in intercourse, or sex as in…sex.

I just finished freshman year two years ago. Freshman year isn't all that bad, if you don't have to transfer schools from Middle to High in a different building. No, we're an academy. Prestigious. Which means that all of us know each other and that we're all rich and smart and everything in one way or another.

But otherwise, half of the people get in by having their parents beg or something. It's honestly _so annoying_. Like all the girls who wait for me in front of my house.

Sometimes I wish I didn't have this face. It's done nothing but cause me trouble. I've tried to so hard to get a mole or a flaw or…an imperfection. Nothing seems to work. Damn these beautiful genes of mine.

"Sasuke-kunnn!"

Ugh, it's Sakura. I could hear her even if I was lying in the dead. In a coffin. Six feet under.

We're friends, sort of. I mean, she's the only girl I hang out with and do projects with, and even though she's still annoying, she's the only girl who understands me.

She really likes me a lot. She told me at the end of eighth grade. I didn't say anything back.

I think it really hurt her, but she doesn't show it. I love how she's so resilient, getting back on her feet after being knocked down. No matter how many times she falls, she always gets back up.

That's what I really like about Sakura. Her character.

I mean, I don't like her _that _way. At least, I don't think so. She's cute, I guess. it depends what your definition of cute is. Mine is horror monsters and Invader Zim, but she's the opposite of those things. I guess she's Naruto's definition of cute. I don't know.

The world is confusing.

Besides English, I'm taking Chinese as a second language. Japanese honestly isn't useful unless you're in Japan. People want to learn Japanese because they want to be anime freaks and come to Japan and party. But in the long run, Chinese is so much more useful.

Not that I'm dissing Japan. It's just that Japan had done so many horrible things to China that it makes us look like monsters. I honestly love China. The food there is amazing, and it's so pretty.

The girls are hot, too. But certainly not cute.

Sakura's both. I guess. She's attractive. And pretty.

Yeah.

She's also taking Chinese. And Latin. And French. And Spanish.

All Honors classes, except Chinese.

She's an over-achiever. She says that she wants to be a doctor when she grows up. I understand the Latin part, with the medicines and names and whatnot, but otherwise I don't know why she took everything else.

She wanted to take Chinese, I know that. She's good at it too. The best in our class.

For some reason, she's not in honors. I think it's not because she can't, it's just that she doesn't _want _to. It's like she wants to stay in our class. To be the top of the regular class instead of the bottom of the honors class.

Wait, that's a lie. She would be the top of honors anyway.

Secretly, I think she only stayed behind because she wanted to be with me.

I can't get rid of her, no matter what I do.

And secretly, I don't want to get rid of her.

She's everything I have.

.

.

.

We're in Sex Ed, waiting for our teacher to arrive. Last week was tampon day, where we played with tampons (again), and got to soak them and push them up and whatever.

Naruto, however, wanted to see how it felt like up a girl's hole. Unfortunately for him, the only hole he had was his anus, and the smart ass stuck it up there.

Like the pun?

I don't.

Anyway, it was horrible. We had to sit there watching him take down his pants and ramen boxers (don't ask, please. I'm not gay, it's just that…it was so visible), and see him trying to find his asshole while we were covering our eyes and turning away.

He…didn't really manage to get it in. We could hear his pained screams and everything, and it made me want to shrivel up and die.

Sodomy isn't cool, Naruto. FYI.

Today's condom day. I'm flipping through the sex-ed textbook while everyone else is making crude jokes, and Naruto's pinching the asses of girls who are wearing literally _nothing_, but get mad because they're getting the wrong attention.

If you want attention, dress as a slut. If you don't like that attention, then don't dress like one.

Simple as that.

The bell rang, and class is starting. Jiraiya, our teacher (the sexpert) is in, writing pornography books that are actually a best seller with our homeroom teacher, Kakashi. He draws pretty well, actually…not that I've read his books.

Okay, maybe the first set.

And part of the second.

I have the films, too, and that saves time.

Anyway, the class is starting, and he's showing us pictures of vaginas and boobs. He never teaches us about the guy's body, because he's more interested in the girls'. He loves when the girls are dressed half-naked so he can ogle them freely.

While he's talking about breasts and bras and whatever, Sakura's running in, her hair flying in front of her face, apologizing while panting heavily to the teacher.

"I'm sorry, Jiraiya-sensei, I had…I had another class and they let us out late…"

He gave her a wink and patted her on the back, where her bra strap was visible. He rubbed it for a second, and then made her scat while slapping her on the ass. She squeaked, and sat across from me, because girls were taking the seats next to me.

They're invading my space.

I can't breathe.

I'm girl-claustrophobic. Except for Sakura, but she's...an exception.

She's taking out her notebook and writing down the notes that Jiraiya is saying. She's so studious, even for something like this.

Sakura's a really hard-worker, and I really admire her for that.

Now that I'm looking at her, from a far distance, I see that she has a really pale, porcelain complexion, without any flaws. Like my skin.

Her eyes are literally liquid emerald with a diamonds sparkling. Her eyelashes are the perfect length and they curl out at the ends.

Her lips are small, rosy, and so kissable I could just touch them with my own. And her cheeks match, rosy too, as if she was recovering from a fever.

She's so innocent, I feel bad for never realizing how pretty she is. I touch my own lips and pretend to press it to hers from across the room.

I wonder how many lips hers had kissed.

And I counted the names off.

_Naruto, her first. On accident._

_Neji, her second. Her date._

_Kiba, her friend._

_Gaara, because he liked her._

_Shikamaru, during a study-buddy period._

I think that's it.

I wonder if they'd ever touched her, before, and my eyes rolled down to her long, slender neck, while the curve of her shoulders arched up and down as she wrote.

Her breasts, a size fairer than normal, maybe a C cup or bigger, curved perfectly along the fabric of her shirt against her bra. I wondered how they would feel in my hands.

Probably warm and soft.

Her hips were perfect for childbirth. She was shaped like an hourglass, curvy in the parts she needed to be, and slim in the parts that were accenting the curves.

One long leg crossed over the other, and under the table, I saw a glimpse of her panties, pink and lacy.

I began to get an erection, just by looking at someone who I was only on friend terms with.

I tried to make it go down, so I turned away from her, but my brain was still loaded with thoughts about her breasts and her panties, and her naked under me, ready and wet.

Jiraiya began passing out the condoms.

Everyone took one, some embarrassed to take it, others who were literally ripping the package with their teeth. Some people, like Naruto, had broken the rubber while biting it (his canine teeth were literally like a wolf's), therefore needing a new one.

Thankfully, Jiraiya brought extras.

One of them landed on my desk, and I stared at it before picking it up and taking it out. I unrolled it, thinking that I could practice with it because my dick was already erect, but I instead tried to hide it by slouching down and just unrolled the condom until it was all the way unfolded.

I saw Sakura, and she took one, smiling at the teacher and thanking him before she carefully tore along the edge, so that the tear was perfect, and she gently took the condom out, as if she would break it if she pierced it with her nails. She unrolled it slowly, and I imagined what it would feel like if we were on my bed, naked, while she bit the package with her teeth and rolled it down my cock with her mouth?

I was getting harder with each image, and I tried to shake it away. She was my friend, and I couldn't have sexual images of someone who I wasn't attracted to.

Could I?

I mean, I liked her. Sort of. As a friend, you know. I honestly don't know if the world's spinning anymore. Life's confusing.

Jiraiya began talking about the importance of safe sex (psh, the bastard had Tsunade use birth control pills so he wouldn't have to wear one) and how you can get AIDS or something if you don't do it right and stuff, and that you need to make sure it's on and it won't slip off during intercourse…

Sakura was taking notes furiously as Jiraiya spoke. I had to laugh. She didn't need to take notes. She knew from experience.

She could.

I could, too.

Which made it all the more special.

Soon, a knock was heard on the door, and Jiraiya opened it, seeing Sasori walk in. He was an upper-classman, one of the higher grades, and he was currently dating Sakura, from what I heard. They had started the last couple of weeks or so, since she had asked him.

Even though I knew that she didn't have her whole heart and soul in it.

Heart and soul...buh duh buh duh buh duh, heart and soul...

He interrupted Jiraiya's class, and laughed because he wasn't boss enough to stand up to him, knowing that he did that creepy puppet pedophile thing.

"Why are you here?" Jiraiya said as Sasori walked over to the middle of the classroom, and then stopped to look at Jiraiya, whose face paled from the mere look.

"Why do you need to know?" he said.

Then, he looked straight at me, into my eyes, and I understood why Jiraiya was so scared. He smirked, then went over across from me and sat down on Sakura's desk. All eyes were on her.

"Hey, babe," he said, kissing her forehead gently. "So you're in Sex Ed."

Sakura was blushing, embarrassed by the attention. "Sasori, not now…"

He began kissing her nose and cheeks, while his hands went onto her shoulders and squeezed them gently.

"Why not? I know you like this," he said, licking the shell of her ear. She moaned softly, and I felt myself go up as soon as she made a sound.

Damn her.

"Stop, stop, not now," she begged as his hands trialed down over her breasts. He wiggled his eyebrows, and took a look at everyone, stopping on me, before he leaned in and kissed her straight on the mouth, his hands going underneath her shirt.

She attempted to push him away, but she was so tiny and defenseless under him.

"Sasori, please, can we save this for later?"

He let go, seeing the panic in her face. He released his hands from her shirt and cupped her cheeks.

"You are just so beautiful. Have I told you that? I'll tell you again, then."

My fists clenched, and for some reason, I became angry. He had no right to come in here and tease her like this in front of everyone.

And for some reason, I cared. I knew she liked it, but it made me…I don't know. I was her friend, so I had to feel something for her. I had to protect her.

But it was so much more than that, I know.

Something was dormant inside of me and then it just popped out, like a lion going through a metal cage juts for the meat. The beast in me ripped out of the cage.

Before I knew what I was doing, I went up to Sasori and pried him away from Sakura, punching him in the face. I heard something crack in his jaw, and I didn't feel guilty at all.

"Don't touch her," I muttered, only for him to hear.

Sakura's eyes were wide, and she began to freak out. Sasori smirked, holding his hand to his bloodied nose.

Then, he turned to Sakura.

"Sakura-chan, this boy seems to want to fight me for you," Sasori said as he winked at her seductively. "He craves you, as I do."

Sakura stared at me, and I could see the horror in her eyes. What happened to the friend I was supposed to be? Some _friend_.

"No, don't say that," she said. "Sasori, stop it. Just leave, please."

He laughed, and was ready to go back and kiss her again.

"No, sweetheart. I don't want to. Your class is fun, hm?" He picked up her opened condom and teased her with it, dangling it in front of her face.

"What do you say we try this out tonight, love? It'll be your first, and I promise you it won't hurt. Don't mind what those people say, it's such a lie. I can give you the best nights you'll ever want. So just sleep with me tonight. Say yes, right now, in front of everybody."

Sakura was in a tough spot, and she didn't know what to do. She whispered, "I don't want to do it with you. I want to do it with the boy I love." Then, I saw the sting of tears behind her eyes and she grabbed the condom, put it in her bag, packed up her stuff and left, without a word. She just got up and left.

All eyes were on us now.

And then he punched me.

.

.

.

My cheek was swollen and I had a black eye. I was in the nurse and sitting on the bed with an ice pack, even though the day had ended and I was supposed to be at football practice.

I saw Sakura walk in. She held her bag against her, and tear stains streaked her face. I looked up at her, thinking that I was an idiot for looking like this and standing up for her. Now she might begin to treat me differently and say that we were meant to be together from the way I protected her, and become all stalkerish and everything.

Then I thought for a moment. I wouldn't exactly hate that.

In fact, I think it would be very nice.

"Sasuke-kun?" she asked quietly, before sitting down next to me and putting her arm on my back. "Are you okay? I hope he didn't hurt you. I can't stand seeing you hurt," she said, her eyes becoming watery again. I frowned. I didn't want to see her cry.

"I'm fine, Sakura," I mumbled, turning away from her. She forced me to look at her, though, and then I stared into her face.

"I broke up with him. Sasori," she said quickly. "I…I didn't actually love him. I was trying to get someone else off my mind. I've loved him for a long time, Sasuke-kun, and I know that he knows, but he just doesn't love me back. And it hurts so much, knowing that he's probably thinking of another girl while I'm with him."

The tears began to fall, and I sighed, pulling her into an embrace while she cried on my shoulder.

"Oh, Sasuke-kun, I wish that I could just tell him!"

I patted her back, and murmured, "I'm sure he knows. And I think he returns your feelings, even if he's unsure about them. He cares about you, that I know."

Sakura looked up at me with her teary eyes and sniffed. "Really? Do you think so?"

"Yeah."

Without warning, she leaned in and kissed me full on the lips, sitting on my lap while her legs straddled my waist.

"Sasuke-kun, I love you, I love you, I absolutely, honest to God, am in love with you! I always have been, you idiot!" she said, nearly shrieking in my ear. Her arms were around my neck in a chokehold, and I held her by her waist while she smothered me with kisses.

"Hn, Sakura," I muttered. "You're heavy."

She frowned, looking at me. "I am _not_! You're just not strong enough."

I chuckled, and she began to push me onto the cot where we were sitting, while she was on top of me, playing with my hair.

Then, I turned us around and shifted my weight on my elbow and knees. I put my hands up her shirt, like I saw Sasori do, and she immediately blushed and stopped breathing.

"Don't be embarrassed," I muttered. "You have nothing to hide from me."

She remained red, and once I found one of her breasts and cupped it, she moaned softly. It turned me on, and my arousal was against her thighs, wanting to be sheathed in her.

"Don't do that," I muttered. "Don't moan."

Sakura giggled while continuing to let out sounds of pleasure. "I—I can't. It's my hormones."

I stopped.

"What?" I repeated, not knowing if she said that correctly.

Sakura stopped, too. "I said that I can't stop moaning because you're making my hormones start up."

"Whore moans?"

"No, hormones!" Sakura said impatiently as she took my hands out of her shirt. "Hormones! The chemical in your body that makes you grow and stuff."

"Oh…" I muttered, my hands now cold without a her breasts heating them. "I thought…never mind."

"What? What did you think?"

"Nothing."

"Uchiha Sasuke-kun, what did you think I said?"

I turned away from her, warming my own hands in my pockets.

"I thought you said _whore moans_," I mumbled, slurring my words.

"What? I couldn't hear that," she said, leaning closer. "Tell me what you said."

"Whore moans. Like, whore, and then moans. Like moaning. Like what you just did."

She slapped me across the face. The good side, this time. Not the bad side.

"I'm not a whore!" she said, her hands on her hips. I rubbed my cheek and frowned. "Sakura, I never said you were."

"You implied it!"

"I didn't mean it that way. I just t it heard wrong. "

"Sureee you did," Sakura said, rolling her eyes. My hands were becoming cold now, and I finally just popped the question.

"Can I just put my hands back up your shirt?" I said as I took my hands out and slid them up, slowly. She was about to argue, and then began moaning again as I unclasped her bra and felt her nipples perk up. She was excited for me.

"Oh, Sasuke-kun…"

There it was again. The moan that started the biggest erection an Uchiha has ever had.

She reached in her bag and pulled out the condom. Taking down my pants, (she struggled with the belt), she found my dick and watched it spring out from my boxers, as she was now on her hands and knees and took the condom in her mouth.

"Stay still," she muttered, holding the little air bubble on top before she held the rim of the condom with her teeth, and began rolling down, her lips skimming my shaft.

I began moaning myself, holding her head steady as I felt my knees shaking with anticipation.

It was exactly as I wanted it to be.

Now all I needed was her skirt off, and we'd be inside each other like…uh, a kunai through a shruiken.

Yeah.

I felt the testosterone. Sort of. Not really, but I can imagine.

We're going through puberty. Both of us. I've just started. Sakura's just ready to end.

It's a natural thing. Your bodies grow, and you change.

And your hormones are raging inside your body, fighting each other. Hormones. Estrogen, the female hormone, and testosterone, the male hormone.

Also pronounced as _whore moan_.

But I bet you already knew that.

Now I do.

And we're going to make love like no one's ever seen before. Take that, Itachi.

I lost my virginity at seventeen.

_Suck it_.

Which is what Sakura's doing right now. And it feels so damn good.

I guess there's no one to blame for what our bodies are doing.

But I'll blame it on my raging testosterone.

Hormones.

_Whore moans_.

MLIA.

* * *

**eah,y its a bit rushed hahaha so sorry if htye're having sex too quickly. sasuke just doesnt realize how muc hhe lovessssss her until ssasori provokes him.**

**and i love sasosaku, too, so im not bashing. i love all saku pairings except sakuino. i even love sakukarin. LOL.**

**kthxbai, review please!**

**40 reviews altogether for another udpate? x3**


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